There are instances where we find ourselves in situations where we are pressured (whether unconsciously or on purpose) into agreeing to do things we ultimately cannot fulfill. When these situations arise and you find yourself in a bind, how can you convey yourself with grace and poise?
Think about it
Give yourself time to think about your reply. Are you thinking of saying yes, even if you know you cannot possibly accommodate the request the other party is expecting from you? Are you biting off more than you can chew, but find yourself hesitating to refuse the other person because of respect, gratitude, seniority, or other factors?
Be firm, but polite
Being clear about your intentions saves you a lot of trouble in the long run. Clearly state why you cannot agree or commit to what the other person asks of you in a straightforward manner, but do so in a way that would not seem as if you are shutting them down. Remember, you are not required to say yes to everything asked of you, but that also does not give you the right to be rude or entitled about it. Learn how to stand your ground.
A maybe rather than a no
When you are faced with a request or an offer that you want to help with but find yourself currently unavailable to do so, convey to the other party that you would be willing to assist them on a later date or time. That way you are keeping the communication line open but also gently telling the other person that you have other priorities that are urgent and time-sensitive. Be welcome to offer suggestions to the other person if the situation allows it so. Give them the timeframe where you can work with them, so it would be at the other person’s leisure to decide on a time that is convenient for both of you.
Lying to save face about having to refuse somebody about something will not only be embarrassing, but can be also perceived as insulting. Not being warranted the truth at the first instance, it may cause serious conflict. Give a reason when you can, or omit some details if there are personal or sensitive information involved, but always remember to give an explanation to the other person. It may be uncomfortable to say the truth at first, but the other party will appreciate that you are truthful about your reasons.
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